I am devastated, heartbroken and am bawling like a kid. I am kicking myself because I have been so so stupid. How could I?
Since I landed in Mumbai in 2003, I have been dreaming of running the Mumbai Marathon, the biggest marathon event in India. When I came here, my kids were young and so I couldn’t leave them alone at home and devote time for my training.
Now that the kids are grown-up and can somewhat look after themselves, I decided to give it a try. Last May, I realized my dream of trekking…I trekked to the height of almost 14,500 ft above the sea level in the Himalayan mountain range. After this, I battled knee pain for months….after being on medication for months, I resumed my gym training and finally in January this year I felt I was ready to run…at least the half marathon.
I started running in the month of February. Technically, I had almost 11 months to train as the marathon is held in mid January every year. But, time seems to gallop or will stand still when things do not move in accordance to our whim and wishes. Few days into the run, my legs started cramping and paining. I wasn’t able to make headway in breaking the 4 km mark.
Visit to the Orthopedist…some blood tests later, it was revealed I have severe vitamin deficiency, had to take injections. Pain killers and calcium supplements were included in my diet as we vegetarians get very limited nourishment from our food sources.
I also started ‘strength training’ sessions in the gym…a grueling leg exercise regime which includes leg press, leg extensions and curls with 40 – 50 – 60 reps. I am enduring it at….for a dream.
All this while I did not even to bother to check the registration dates as someone has said that the registrations starts from the month of September. Kicking myself again. But, the registration has long since closed! Kick, Kick!
Why does this mean so much to me? As a home maker, my world revolves around my family. There are some dreams which are achievable, which do not take me away from my home or my responsibilities. This dream was for me, myself, to prove to myself that I can.
Look at me now, crying…my kids are consoling me. My hubby consoled me, saying I can always run next year! My biological clock is ticking. I know how much I have been enduring for this dream of mine…..sob, sob.
Oh that's sad. Take care, you will be fine. You have whole life to participate. C'mon.. don't let all this hurt you. These are just hurdles, n every race has hurdles. Pull your socks up!! *Sympathies*
ReplyDeleteI really feel for you. As a former runner I blew out a knee and had to stop running before I did the San Francisco "Bay to Breakers" run - a giant running party. Also couldn't do the "Davis Double" which is a 200 mile bike ride ridden all in one day. At 65 I'll never make them. I really regret it! Hope you can fulfill your dreams. :D
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dreams and profession can exist independently. These are not bound to co-exist together. You being a homemaker does not implies that you should not dream of running in a marathon. We all have certain dreams. Everybody do so. And its still possible for u to fulfill them. May be you missed this time, may be you wont in future. You also have your supportive family beside you. :)
ReplyDeleteThis sounds bad,take care of yourself,you never know at times miracles do occur...and maybe there is something in store for u.
ReplyDeleteawwwwwwww.... hey janu...i thnk you shudn't be so sad... it if's a big passion for u then u'll surely make it..trust me. cheer up...and get going for the next yr..hugs :) n better take cr of ur health :))
ReplyDeleteJanaki, It's never too late for doing anything new in life. Look at me I am nearing 50 and am planning to run the Delhi half Marathon next year. If you want something bad enough, you do get it, eventually....smile and god bless
ReplyDeleteI agree with Motifs...when we feel like we have pushed that rock up the hill and things do not work out , there is always a reason...it does not always show itself in the moment...this is really sad as you have worked so hard..and now your are grieving that loss...how wonderful you have such loving support from your family...and now...you will fulfill your dream...sometimes they just come in a different way...
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I feel your frustration and pain Janu. I would be heart broken as well. But I know you will be more than ready for the marathon next year. Considering that you were diagnosed with vitamin deficiency early this year, I think you should give yourself a year at least for your body to be 100% before you push yourself. Next year sounds just about right though it seems such a bummer! I am very impressed with your high altitude trek :) Chin up Janu! I wish you all the best!
ReplyDeleteOh I am so sorry for the pain and anguish you have been and are going through. Be proud that you have done everything to put yourself in the position to run. When the opportunity arises you will run or if not you are healthy now and may achieve a different goal you don't know of yet. <3<3<3 loves to you.
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwwwwww there is a reason..hard to hear but true....Big hugs to you....As always....XOXOXOXOOXO
ReplyDeleteI feel your frustration and pain... I was organized and ready for a trip of a lifetime when it got canceled...
ReplyDeleteIt will come again and you will run it... Hugs
Awh, I'm so sorry. It's so frustrating when our dreams take a tumble. Here's hoping that by next year, your training will have been amazing, you'll nail the registration time, and you'll RUN!!!!! xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteJanaki - I'm all admiration for you and I do agree with Sulekha and Padma. Nothing can stop you and I'm sure next year you'll be even more prepared and charged up...
ReplyDeleteI could relate to this post as I stay home with my young children and it seems like my life's situation prevents many of my dreams and pursuits at the time being. To finally have on in site and seem acheivable and then have it snatched away like that, just have been very heart breaking indeed. But there is hope! I pray that next year, you run and you fulfill your dreams. May you heal completely and be able to pursue all your dreams at full speed. Lots of love :)
ReplyDeleteThank you all and love you guys....all this positiveness is rubbing off on me. I am feeling better already. The disappointment was too great as I was really looking forward to this. Some thing better is waiting for me....could not agree less. XOXOXO
ReplyDeleteI want to hug you! I can understand how upsetting this is! But please be proud of what you have achieved. The training and commitment you put into making this dream a reality is commendable! Know that you will be able to do it again and please post the pics of you crossing the finish line when you do. This is a temporary setback which you can recover from! All the best!
ReplyDeleteHey Janu, Read this today.. Know what? Biological clock has nothing to do with running... You start organizing marathons in a small way and participate in them for starters. Then, before you know it, you are ready for the big one!! See if there are other marathons in and around your city where you can take part without your family life being disturbed...More importantly, take good care of your health. Cheer up girl, nothing is lost!!
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